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The Top Three Things to NOT Ask of St. Expedite

2/5/2015

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Top three things NOT to ask St Expedite for...or me, for that matter (please, really, just don't). WARNING: The following may be found offensive to some folks living in an alternate reality. However, it is based on true requests and reports. Here goes..and hold on to your hats cuz...well...
  1. You want a bigger penis. Ay yi yi....okay, well, totally inappropriate request to petition St. Expedite for this one. While it is said he will grant any wish, this is simply wishful thinking. Though you can try my magickal waxing the wanker oil (piece of burdock root steeped in almond oil), I can't promise you anything but a temporary reprieve with this one. LOL
  2. To sell your soul to the Devil. Woopsie, wrong saint.
  3. You want to be a famous fashion model...HODIE. Think about how much this request entails....are you pretty enough? Tall enough? Skinny enough? After answering these questions, does this still like the industry you want to be in? Furthermore, this is not the kind of thing St. Expedite has control over. Just like #1, he did not create you, if your physical characteristics are not, well a good fit, then don't set yourself up for disappointment. If you still want to pursue this career path, a more realistic request would be something like, St. Expedite, help me get an interview with a modeling agency.

For more tips, go here to purchase the book The Conjurer's Guide to St. Expedite.
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Free Money Spell

2/4/2015

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Perform During the New Moon for Best Effect

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Someone gave me this spell a few years ago and I thought I would share it with you. I have since lost contact with that person and do not know if it was an original spell of theirs or not. If anyone recognizes it as being from a particular source, please let me know so that I may give credit. You will need the following:

  • 1 x piece of black paper (3" x 3")
  • Silver pen (or silver paste pen)
  • Rubber Band
  • Jar
  • Mint leaves
  • Soil from your yard (if you live in an apartment from a potted plant, or from a garden in front of your building)
  • Water in a small white bowl
  • Pencil
Timing: New Moon

Instructions:

   1. Draw the symbol for Mercury on one side of the black paper and the symbol for earth on the other.

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   2. Hold your hands over the bowl  of water. Imagine that this water is  spiritually cleansing you.

   3. Next place your hands over the symbol of Mercury. "See" how prosperity  is entering your life.

   4. Then place your hands over the  symbol for Earth. "See" how your life  is being filled with the bounty of  the Earth.

   5. Place the mint leaves on the  symbol for Earth. As you do this, say  your name nine times.

   6. Roll the paper and leaves around  the pencil, and secure with the rubber  band. Carry on you until the money you  need is received.

   7. You can re-empower the spell  every New Moon.

In addition to the spell, you should  pray to your Deity of choice, asking for help,  blessings and support. After you've done all this, put your faith in your own powers to earn money. If you want to speed up the process, you can anoint the paper and the bowl with Voodoo Mama's Algiers Fast Luck Oil.

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Voodoo Mama's
ALGIERS FAST LUCK CONJURE OIL

A powerful Fast Luck formula from the Algiers area of New Orleans to attract money, better business, good luck, love, and the better things of life, and to remove negativity and clear away obstacles. Use as a dressing oil for fixing candles for spells, add to the bath,  add to floor washes, use as a lucky hand rub before gambling, or wear as a magical perfume.

Voodoo Mama's Conjure oils, Spiritualist Oils, and Anointing Oils are custom blended the old conjure-style way with the finest herbs, and essential oils using my proprietary New Orleans formulary. You will receive a generous 4 dram bottle of high quality, hand-blended conjure oil, more than twice the amount you will find at other sites.

$12.95 (4 drams/.25 fl oz)
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Dried Beef Tongue

2/3/2015

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If you have someone meddling in your affairs, talking smack about you, if you find yourself the subject... of the rumor mill, if you have a court case coming up and you don’t need some witness getting on the stand talking bad about you, or if there are coworkers spreading malicious gossip about you or a back biting friend talking out of both sides of their mouth, then this curio is perfect for you!

What is it? Rarely seen anymore, but not forgotten by those of us old enough to remember, we present to you authentic, dried, ritually prepared beef tongue. Combined with a pip of Shut the Hell Up conjure oil, you will be ready for your stop gossip and court case works!

Beef tongue is a commonly used ingredient for getting people to shut their meddlesome traps. But, working with a raw beef tongue is not everyone’s cup of tea and our grandmothers knew this. Furthermore, using an entire beef tongue for one work was not something poor folks could afford to do, so instead, they used dried and cured tongue instead. In New Orleans and along the bayous of the Deep South, dried beef tongue was used in a multitude of ways – in gris gris, mojo hands, powdered and used as a sachet powder, or as a stand-alone ingredient. Instead of sewing up the actual split tongue, when you use dried tongue the law of similarity is at play drying up the gossiper’s tongue so it can no longer wag. Can you imagine trying to talk with a dried out tongue? It would be impossible! That’s why this curio is so perfect for this kind of work.

This curio may be unfamiliar to most people today, but it was something used by old timers in the Deep South with great success. Placed in a stop gossip mojo along with slippery elm, licorice root and chia seeds and anointed with Shut the Hell Up Conjure Oil will keep you protected from gossip and slander by silencing the perpetrators. A powerful Indian conjure hand uses dried tongue, adder’s tongue, deer’s tongue, bear root, slippery elm bark and okra along with an arrowhead. Anoint with Shut the Hell Up oil and your gossiper will do just that – shut the hell up! For added punch, recite Psalm 37 while preparing your work.

Combine with our Shut The Hell Up Candle and Oil and you have a powerful stop gossip hoodoo tool!

You can find dried beef tongue, shut the hell up oil and candles at RitualWitch.com.

Labels:
conjure, beef tongue, stop gossip, dried beef tongue, stop rumors, shut the hell up

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