GENERAL MUSINGS
SPIRITUAL ABUSE IN THE ONLINE CONJURE COMMUNITIES
Denise Alvarado
For many years, I worked with survivors of sexual assault as a therapist in the "real world," so those of you who know me from that context will not be surprised that I would make a statement about this. For those of you who only know me from online, now you know something else about me. Spiritual abuse is rampant in the Conjure communities online and offline. As a survivor myself, I will not stand by and be silent. There's no sippin' tea on this one.
I have been approached on more than one occasion by women who have experienced a violation by so-called spiritual leaders in the ATRs and online conjure communities. In each case, the women had entrusted the man with their vulnerabilities and sought spiritual help for various issues. These men - these predators - took advantage of these women and crossed boundaries that should never have been crossed. From inappropriate comments to beatings to sending photos of their penises to rape - it runs the gamut. Each incident included threats of violence against the person and their families and each incident included being bullied online and offline.
In this business of conjure, a popular intimidation tactic is to threaten the victim with a curse. This week, for example, I was called a whore and threatened with a curse if I did not keep this man's name out of my mouth, despite the fact that I had not publicly spoken his name outside of an interaction with him the day before when he came on my personal page making inappropriate comments about a reputable and well-respected spiritual leader in New Orleans. My response to him was the same as it would be to anyone who comes on my personal page with negative and disrespectful comments about our spiritual leaders, or any kind of personal negative agenda, or that matter. Ethical spiritual leaders do a lot for the community, while people like this do absolutely nothing. When he mentioned two names, it became clear he has been associating with known haters and it has unfortunately rubbed off on him. Mind you, I had never spoken an ill word to the person and always welcomed him in my group and treated him with respect. The following day, he dropped this bomb in my group, unprovoked:
Doc Rasheed Kelly 3:39pm Apr 1
To the whore that lives in arazona (denise) Keep my name out of your mouth before i put a hex on you .
Now, some people may have been intimidated by such an action, but not me. I am old enough to be his grandmother, for one, and have lived long enough to know a punk when I smell one. And even though his associates have been reportedly after me for several years hell-bent on proving me a fraud, I am not afraid of them or any of their spirits, threats or associates. If there was something to be found, it would have been found already. It's really time to let that one go. Oh, and lest I forget, it is spelled A-R-I-Z-O-N-A, btw. And yes, I reproduced your name, along with the exact time and date of your post - your fault since you boldly and without concern posted it in a public forum first.
Now, the above example is not related to a sexual assault, but it is a good example of cyberbullying (pathetic though it it may be). And, it is the exact kind of thing that women who suffer other forms of abuse experience. Depending on their state of mind, it can be frightening to be targeted in a public forum - to be threatened with a hex in a group of peers who believe in such things. Frightening, especially on the heels of physical or sexual assault when they are at their most vulnerable.
It's no wonder these women are held captive in their silence. When they share their stories they are often revictimized. If they decide to share, the person hearing about the atrocity and "friend" of the known spiritual leader wants to know what she did to provoke the man. Was she drinking? Does she have a history of prostitution? Was she flirting with him? Did she have sex with him without saying no? Is she posting provocative photos? Is she posting photos that show she is in distress? The online community is especially vicious towards victims. They are masters at the shame and blame game.
The amount of hateful spew I witnessed coming out of some mouths concerning a related issue caused me to "unfriend" quite a few people on Facebook who, in my opinion should know better and who were unfortunately on my friends list. The amount of ignorance and denial is staggering. People won't even entertain the possibility that what the woman claims may be true. Instead it is couched in racism or some other psychological deflection that makes the whole subject more palatable to onlookers. For whatever reason - maybe they have been victims themselves in their lives and have yet to come to terms with the effects of the experience, or maybe they are afraid of the repercussions should they stand with the victim - whatever the reason, these people refuse to see the truth. Sadly, they are blinded by the silver tongues whispering in their ears.
Now, the above example is not related to a sexual assault, but it is a good example of cyberbullying (pathetic though it it may be). And, it is the exact kind of thing that women who suffer other forms of abuse experience. Depending on their state of mind, it can be frightening to be targeted in a public forum - to be threatened with a hex in a group of peers who believe in such things. Frightening, especially on the heels of physical or sexual assault when they are at their most vulnerable.
It's no wonder these women are held captive in their silence. When they share their stories they are often revictimized. If they decide to share, the person hearing about the atrocity and "friend" of the known spiritual leader wants to know what she did to provoke the man. Was she drinking? Does she have a history of prostitution? Was she flirting with him? Did she have sex with him without saying no? Is she posting provocative photos? Is she posting photos that show she is in distress? The online community is especially vicious towards victims. They are masters at the shame and blame game.
The amount of hateful spew I witnessed coming out of some mouths concerning a related issue caused me to "unfriend" quite a few people on Facebook who, in my opinion should know better and who were unfortunately on my friends list. The amount of ignorance and denial is staggering. People won't even entertain the possibility that what the woman claims may be true. Instead it is couched in racism or some other psychological deflection that makes the whole subject more palatable to onlookers. For whatever reason - maybe they have been victims themselves in their lives and have yet to come to terms with the effects of the experience, or maybe they are afraid of the repercussions should they stand with the victim - whatever the reason, these people refuse to see the truth. Sadly, they are blinded by the silver tongues whispering in their ears.
Undoubtedly, this article will agitate some people. I will likely be threatened with more hexes and curses. I am not afraid of these people. I can see through glass houses, and glass houses all have one thing in common: they eventually shatter and cut those living inside them. And, to quote a popular meme: If the shoe fits, feel free to lace that bitch up and wear it.